waVes

what are waves?

A wave is a disturbance that propagates through space or spacetime, often transferring energy. While a mechanical wave exists in a medium (which on deformation is capable of producing elastic restoring forces), waves of electromagnetic radiation (and probably gravitational radiation) can travel through vacuum, that is, without a medium. Waves travel and transfer energy from one point to another, with little or no permanent displacement of the particles of the medium (there is little or no associated mass transport); instead there are oscillations around fixed positions.

Periodic waves are characterized by crests (highs) and troughs (lows), and may usually be categorized as either longitudinal or transverse. Transverse waves are those with vibrations perpendicular to the direction of the propagation of the wave; examples include waves on a string and electromagnetic waves. Longitudinal waves are those with vibrations parallel to the direction of the propagation of the wave; examples include most sound waves.

When an object bobs up and down on a ripple in a pond, it experiences an orbital trajectory because ripples are not simple transverse sinusoidal waves.

that’s what’s happening in my mind right now. there are lots of waves in my mind. i don’t really how to calm down, i get frustrated easily, i’ve been having bad temper lately but i don’t want to. is there anything that i can do to avoid this kind of things to happen? i tried to be optimistic, i tried to think on the bright side, i tried to believe that tomorrow will be a better day, but those didn’t work for me.

all i can say is that i really don’t wanna avoid facing the fact. there are times when i tried to lie to myself, but its just another excuse to avoid the facts. what can i say?

have u watched The Matrix? well, i did and honestly speaking, i can say that i’ve seen the Real World like what Morpheous shown Neo. the world that we’re living in right now is just the top layer of it. if u do suceed to see it from another side, u will see that the actual world is already ruined. i’m not a paranoid but i saw what i had to, and i heard what i had to, and all of that came out with a conclusion that this ain’t no beautiful world.

advice from my folks, especially from my mum, the greatest women on earth!!

finally i get to meet my parents during christmas.. they are still as happy as ever. i learnt from them that there are times when we can’t be so calculative on certain things which occurs in our life. the only thing for us to do is to face the factn bravely, and live our life to the fullest. in fact, not only my folks, but other relatives from overseas also said the same thing to me. care, support, are the priorities to our family. my situation is a bit more complicated as i’m the only child in the family, and my parents are not with me here. they are back in my hometown, penang. i can say that’s the best place that i’ve ever been to throughtout malaysia. the food is cheaper and also taste better compare to other states in this country. i’ve always wanted to bring my family down here to KL so that i could spend more time with them. i do have another alternative, which is to move back to penang. i don’t know whether i’ll be doin that but all i can say is that there are no promises made up to the last minute. i don’t have support from other siblings but i’m greatful that other relatives and friends are all around to support me. i really wish that i could do more for my parents. i’ve been working for almost 6 years and yet i haven’t achieve anything yet. but like i said, i’m a very stubborn person, and that make me someone who doesn’t give up easily. may god bless everyone in this world.

if YOU are inexperienced or unprofessional, DON’T act like one!!!

so called professionals like doctors, who THINKS that they are experienced or they are qualified to treat patients or give meditation to patients, PLEASE think trice whether you are really CAPABLE of doing it or not. if you are so confident that you can help someone with their health, please do so. BUT, don’t tell a different story when something screwed up after your treatment to the patient.
if you readers thinks that i’m trying to make up a story to spoil the reputation of some doctors or professionals, i’m sorry to say that yes i am here to do so as HE deserves it!! my mum went for treatment. that SOAB stupid doctor used a general medicine for my mum’s treatment which he THINKS that it is strong enough to cure the illness. that mother fuqking SOAB doctor should be raiped. he THINKS that the bloody medicine that he use could cure my mum’s illness, unfortunately, it spread into other areas. then the stupid excuse that he gave was that HE THOUGHT THE MEDICINE WOULD BE STRONG ENOUGH TO CURE IT. is that what doctors do? playing a fool with other people’s life? or trying to proof that they are capable when they are NOT AT ALL?? that ain’t right!!!
seriously and sorry to say, i’m gonna ruin his future. if that’s what he did to my mum, i’m gonna pay it back to him. i know that i sounded very cruel but that’s how the stupid world is now.. cruelty makes someone successful, so i have to be cruel to be successful. that’s how the pain in the ars doctor got into, right?  oh i forgotten to mention that the SOAB doctor is from Hospital LWE in Batu Lanchang. he’s so called the only doctor who handles cancer patient. horse pussy fuqking SOAB doctor he is..
you all might not understand what am i talking about here as you haven’t got into what i’m in right now. for those who been through what i’m in, or is still in my kind of situation, i’m sure you’ll understand what the hell am i talking about. do you think i should sue the SOAB doctor? i told my mum to do so but she refused to. so i think i’ll be the one to sue the doctor. i’m gonna make his life so miserable that he’ll regret of what he has done to my mum. it will be my pleasure to do so.

sick and tired..

why do people say the following phrase?

"life is wonderful"
"the world is beautiful"
"look at the brighter side"
"tomorrow is a brand new day"
"we are living in a colorful world"

are they true? maybe to some people who decides to escape from facing the truth and the fact of life, yes, those phrases are true. but to me who has somehow been to the other side of the world, NO! all those phrases above are so untrue. they are just phrases that people use to give excuses that they are living in a peaceful and happy life. why are they avoiding the truth? they world,the society are so realistic and cruel.
FYI, i’m not pessimistic, but just facing the cruelty of the world that i’m living in. why everything have to come all in one shot? at least if they come one by one simultaneously, i can still take it. but now, all of them come together. financial, relationship, family?! oh god, can’t u just gimme a break? i need some space to breath for heaven’s sake!!! my folks are getting old, and i still can’t guarantee their life after their retirement. i always ask myself:"what kind of son am i?" sigh..
then it comes to relationship. why do i always think of other people but in the end i’m the one who is suffering? same old fuqking problems kept happening over and over again.. and me, as always will be the problem solver to solve those stupid problems. then not long later it repeats.. i’m tired of them, i want them to stop but somehow they won’t. same old factor that causes quarrels and misunderstandings.. tolerating is no longer the solution for them stupid problems. my mind is overloaded and i feel that i’m gonna explode real soon. too much of shitty stuffs man..
then comes my family. my folks are retiring soon. in fact, my mum has retired because of health problems. she went for medication and she recovered from it. but, why the hell does it has to come back to her again? my mum ain’t no bad person, why does that stupid thing gotta go after her? why don’t come to me instead? i’m still young, and i believe i can take it more than any of my folks can. i don’t wanna see both of them suffer after working and bringing me up for so many years. they didn’t do anything wrong, they just did what they should do, getting their own job done. but why?? why does thing happen that way? i’m already frustrated enough of my own life, and now things are getting more and more complicated.
i believe in one thing, which is my life will never be any better than how it is now, and i believe that it will get worse very soon.. i do feel like giving up..

following the flow..

before i start my stupid craps again, i would just like to say something to people who have been concern about me. thank all of you for being so kind and considerate to me. i really appreciate it!
well alright, i’ve broke my record of working straight 6 weeks in a shot without any rest days. and during these 6 weekends, i slept average 2 hours a day. am i insane or what? i don’t know either. i fell sick for the past 2 days. everything came to me together and yet i was still working. i am suppose to take MC of somehow as i was totally blur by then. and yet the only solution that i thought of that time was to take 2 pills just to stabilize my body temperature so that i won’t turn into a human torch. gosh that weekend was awful. there wasn’t enough rest for me and all the things are back to back?! my head was spinning and i was BLUR. what can i say? i don’t like to fall sick, i believe no one does. and yet i couldn’t help it as the main point of me collapsing is because i was lack of sleep. things ain’t over yet. there’s still another weekend ahead, few days from now, and i believe that will be the worst weekend ever in my entire life, i guess.. i’m now in recovering stage, hopefully when hell weekend comes i won’t fall sick again. it was like a physical fear factor for me, honestly nothing like that has ever happened to me before. finally i managed not to sleep for 24 hours. and that doesn’t feel good, seriously. when i reached home last night, i felt so relief all of a sudden. at that very moment, life never felt better. i was so unstressed. i can only rest for a few days and then back to working days in hell.
the society is very realistic, or should i say, cruel. no one will notice good deeds that i’ve done. but when there are tiny small little mistakes, they will make a big fuzz out of it. i just don’t understand why does the society has to be like this. ain’t it better if everyone could just be more considerate, and not so damn picky on small little things? i can just tell myself that i’m nothing without financial capability. i admit that i’m not rich, i’m not wealthy, and i’m not a good looking dude where people approaches and offers modeling jobs of what so ever. i’m just an ordinary normal male human who is working very hard searching for success and satisfaction in life. maybe that’s what it takes in order to become SOMEONE in the future. there are too much for me to worry of now. normally people at my age worry about where to go later or what does he or she has to say for their parents to give them extra pocket money. but me, i’m a lot different from all the same ages. i’m worried about myself, my folks, loved ones, financial status, my future, what am i gonna be, who am i gonna be, how long does it takes for me to become successful and so on and so forth.
just let me do my prayers here. oh god, please lighten the weight on my shoulder, my capability is limited. it is reaching its limit and i can’t take anymore stupid craps. i’m trying very hard, working towards a bright future, for me to achieve my goal. oh god, hear me i beg YOU, all i want is to live in a better life. and honestly i’m working very hard towards achieving that. lastly i would just like to wish everyone that i know and know me life in a good life, happiness flows around. thank you!

meaningless days..

i have been goin’ through meaningless days, doin’ nothin’ much though, kept thinking of fuqked up things that is happening to me.. seriously sometimes i just feel like i don’t wanna do anything, don’t wanna be anyone, just felt like separating my soul away from my body. i felt kinda high sometimes, and the next minute i’m freakin’ down, with loads of things to think of.. sigh, i’m not balanced as i can see. its just like i’m doin’ everything for nothing. there are too much of things for me to be concern of, and yet i don’t have the capability to complete them. i’m like lack of time, lack of advice, lack of support, etc. well, if that’s how life should be, then i can just say that i’m not officially surrendering to it. well, i might be thinking another way later when i finished typing thing crappy blog. my folks depends on me, if i don’t achieve anything in 2 years time, i believe i’m ruined by then.
life ain’t easy, i know that but is it suppose to be so damn difficult for me? i don’t really think that i’ve done anything wrong for all my years of living, but then again, there were nothing much encouraging after all these years of living. am i suppose to go through all these or everybody does the same thing in their life? i see people doin’ well even since their early age, are they fated to be living in better life than me? or is it becaused of me myself who’s not doin’ enough for my life? honestly what i felt is that if i were more hardworking for the past few years, i believe that i’ve already achieve something by now. damn, what the hell am i talkin’ about anyway?

things are gettin’ worse

i’ve noticed that things are getting worse for me. a friend of mine used to tell me that he has loads of grievances, at that moment i didn’t understand what was he talking about, but now, i realized that i’m actually in that kind of shitty setuation, with loads and loads of grievances around me. i’m not being pesimistic, but i’m just trying to face the truth, the reality, the cruelness of the world and the society. there’s no one to judge whether things that i’m doing or i’ve done are right or wrong. there’s no fairness, there’s no sympathy, there’s no caring and sharing kinda idiotic thoughts. all that people cares is that 1st, i wanna earn loads of money. 2nd, is things that i’m doing for someone, seems to be taken for granted. i don’t know if there are anyone in this world who thinks the same way like i do, but i can say that lotsa people tend to avoid of facing the truth and the fact of the cruelness and how inhumanity the fuqking society is.

let me just shrink the community into a smaller group or ars holes, alright? now, everyone needs their own time, own friends, own space, and so on and so forth. but that doesn’t mean that they do not need a companion, right? companionship is a very important thing between two homosapiens in order to tighten the gap or so called "relationship". but becaused of the realistic society that the big wide world has evolved into, mankind tend to turn realistic too. it is good that us, the so called "smartest animal" on the planet can acclimatized to the realisticness of the fuqking world. this evolution unintentionally leads to materialism of mankind. yes, we humans are advancing, but does it mean that every fuqking one has to follow the bloody way of being realistic and inhumanity? i am a human, and i have feelings towards myself, people around me, and people that i care of and loved. but seems like a part of those people that i concern with all my bloody heart, takes it as if that is what i’m suppose to do, its my part and i have to do it. i mean, WTF? i ain’t no robot with machines operating me, i’m a person with feelings that i’m not sure whether others have it. i’m happy for a reason. i’m sad for a reason. i fear for a reason. i’m angry for a reason. but lately, i felt that there are only 3 kinds of feeling that i felt, which is sad becaused of financial problems, i fear my loved ones will be in trouble, and i’m angry becaused no one listens to me when i advice them for their own good. so tell me now, what the hell am i suppose to do? sometimes i really feel stupid n ashamed of myself. i don’t even know what am i suppose to do and what am i not suppose to do. it is as if that nothing that i do is right. every fuqking thing that i did was totally wrong.

tell me ladies and gentlement, is it still worth it for me to live in this "HAPPY" world?

sickening

oh by the way, i finished writing a report regarding the accident that accured to the management. haha.. so funny..

totally screwed up, brain is malfunctioning, everything seems to be falling apart.

i’ve been going through very bad times. maybe i’m just fated to be like this, being someone who is not gonna be successfull no matter what or how hard i do. humanity is so amazing yet we are somehow screwed up one way or another. there are no such thing as fairness or whatever that u homosapiens that read this shitty blog of mine call. all i know is that no one is perfect, and nothing is fair. if things would have exactly like what we want them to be, we are not humans but programmed machine. no one wants bad things to happen to themselves, right? and yet there’s a small amount of stucked up humans that pisses me off real bad. things that i do doesn’t contain any harm, but the thing is others tend to see it from the devil’s point of view where all the others are stupid, dumb, brainless, pain in the ars, except for them. who the hell do u think u r huh? god ain’t perfect as well, do u know that? if god were perfect, there wouldn’t have been homosexuals or transexuals in this world. if god were perfect, there wouldn’t be anything like robberies, kidnaps, accidents and all other "sheet" ars things happening every single second the clock is ticking. what is the fuqking point for me to exchange money with life n health? no fuqking one knows what have i done, except for me, myself. things just happen so called coincidence that i’m so damn bad luck. i know that i shouldn’t complain so much about all these bad things but i can’t help it as i found out that no one in this "great sucking world" that would understand me. no matter what i do or how i try, there’s no freaking one out there that will know my effort, time, health, and whatever other "sheet" are called. No one understands my feelings. no one knows who i really am, what i really do.. i do things for people that i’m concern, that i care of, but all these seemed to be flowing down the drain. sometimes i come to a conclusion that i’m an extreme failure and no metter what i do or how i try, nothing will ever change this. this is like a fact about me.

adrian ong = failure